bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
