I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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