Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
