i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
