Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
