yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
