ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
