he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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