so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
