Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
