I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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