TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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