Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
