I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
