I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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