you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
