and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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