i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
