is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
