Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
