just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
