So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize