I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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