I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
