if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
