I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
