nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
