I'm lost and stupid without you.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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