If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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