so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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