I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
