everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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