A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
