I'm jealous of your bromance
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
