It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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