It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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