I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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