worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
