He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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