my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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