so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
