And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
