if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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