I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
