I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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