Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
