I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
