And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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