i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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