that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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